This page contains graphic descriptions of surgical procedures!! Viewer discretion is advised!!
Something interesting about me is that I am very curious about the limits of the human body. I have always enjoyed biology and when I was really little I thought it would be cool to be a surgeon but now that I've spent decades getting concussions and frying my brain with chemicals that's not an option. But I'm still really curious, so I sometimes experiment on myself. For example, I wondered what it felt like to get your blood sucked by a leech, so I let a little guy go to town! Felt dizzy, and cold, and itched a little. Not bad. I always assume I can do anything and I'm invincible. So far I feel I'm right. I always think "WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I….???" Ripped my fingernail off? Dissolved my tooth in an energy drink? Stuck my hand in a beehive? I used to do those challenges that were popular on Vine like the salt and ice challenge. Still got the burns. I can't help it!! Being a human in a human body makes no sense to me and I can never keep track of the experience, so I have to get scientific. My biggest experiments have been with trepanation.
I have really bad tinnitus from listening to Death Grips at maximum volume. As we all know, tinnitus is when a bunch of sound waves are trapped in your skull bouncing around with no escape. They won't escape through your ears, for some reason. So I figured I could get the sound waves out, and release the pressure in my brain, by drilling a hole in my skull. I also wanted the purported benefits of increased blood flow to the brain and renewed childlike wonder.
I first tried to trepan myself on March 30, 2023. Incidentally, this happened to be Poke Things With a Pointy Stick Day! A drill is a kind of pointy stick, right? I had read a little bit about trepanation online, and I thought it would be the perfect cure for my tinnitus, as well as the ultimate medical experiment. I used a DeWalt 20V Max Brushless Cordless 1/2 in. Drill/Driver, which you can purchase here for $129. The spot I chose to drill was on the side of my head just above my ear, where the tinnitus is. I shaved a small section of my hair in that area. I took a lot of Xanax and some DXM to alleviate the pain. I forgot to sanitize the drill before I started. Nothing bad happened, but I don't think that was wise.
I made a lot of mistakes on the first attempt in addition to forgetting to clean the drill. I didn't do enough research, and only had the vaguest idea of how trepanation worked. The details I had neglected to consider. For example, I didn't know a drill is about 100 decibels! I could hardly think with all that noise in my skull in addition to the tinnitus. Second of all, I tried to drill directly into my skin. The skin on your head is tougher than you think! A commercial drill bit is not the ideal tool for puncturing a layer of skin and muscle followed by skull. But I can't afford those fancy Meridian drills. The noise freaked me out, and I could barely hold the drill steady. In the end I passed out from the combination of blood loss and nerves. Your head bleeds a LOT!! I never even ended up drilling through my skull. Instead of a hole, I had just a tiny dent. I can still feel it under my hair.
The first experiment failed, but I wanted to try again. I started doing actual, proper research on trepanation, studying the techniques of the ones who came before me. Amanda Feilding's documentation was instrumental to my research. I spent a month practicing on watermelons, carefully drilling down through the rind but making sure not to touch the inside. Slowly I refined the details of the procedure to make sure I had the best chance of success.
Finally, nearly exactly a year later, on March 23, 2024, I was ready. I made sure to sanitize the drill this time.
Here is the documentation of my second trepanation that I wrote at the time:
Alright so there’s a holee in my head now
I started by making two incsisions at the top of my forehead right ar;ound my hairline, forming an X. Then I peeled the top layerr of skin back like book pages to exp ose the spot I was going to drill.
I covered my hedad in gauze and wore dark sunglasses to avoid the blood from getting in my eyes, as I saw in the clip from heartbeat in the brain. This time I also sanitized the drill bit which I hadn’t don ebefore
I used an auger bit on a stan dard dril;l amd started dril;ling very slowly applying even but slow pressure. It i s important to keep the drill at a 90 degree angle so asd not to susstain unneesarry skull cracks. My hands always shake a little so this was very hard.
I was working very slowly so it took me about five full minutes to drill all the way though my skull. Some fair warninglhfor this is that it is extremlay loud. Almost seems counter protducyive since I din this to help my tinnitus but it was a very broef momonet of agony in comparison to the elation I now feel.
After I got all the way thtiough. I had to spend a ltot of time cleaning out the blood. You rhead bleads a LOT!!! And in order to get the drill site clean you kinda have to tilt your head forward and let some of the blood drain out of your skul l hole. Itmakeds my hea d feelreally clean. I think the auger bit was the right choice beause it moves the skull pieces out as it goes in so there’s not a lot o f beonefragments hangign arond in there. I stitched up the incisions I needed around 5 or 6 stiyches to geth it all together. If I press on my head I can feel the emptiness under the sttitch.
You would experct jsut the hole area ato hurt but surprisoingly my entire head hurts lik ethe outside muscle all over my head. I think sometihign about drilling through skull muscle strains it kind of like spraining your ankle. I alreaddy feel the ringing in my ears was quoeter even after the agonizing vibration of the drill for 5 minutes. I am i n a lot of pain but already my body feels light er and more clear
I spent a long time clieaning up th eblood it sprayed all over my mirror. Also need to get new towles a giant one is now soaked. Not a lot of blood got in my eyes which was good and very different from last time, I think that’s apart of why I fucked up lansdt time. My bathroom is luckily now very clean!!! It matches my brain 😄
I recommend that anyone who has done enough research and had enough practice try this at home, for a whimsical, spiritual, self-actualizing experience!!